I was reading an article about how writers envision their “perfect writing space.” Once they have the space to do it, they’ll dedicate a room to their craft, purchase an expensive writing desk, and furnish their writing space with things that inspire them. After their perfect writing space is made, though, they prefer to write anywhere else.

I couldn’t help but laugh about it, because I’m guilty of this myself. In my last apartment, I had a 5′ x 9′ pantry attached to the kitchen. Instead of using this tiny room for storage, I had a great vision of using this tiny room as my dedicated writing room. I imagined myself hunched over a small desk, writing into the late night, and finishing the first draft of my first book — all because I could finally get some privacy to focus on my writing.

I set my thoughts into motion. I covered the cold tile floor with some carpet. I bought a small writing desk, and assembled it inside the room. Finally, I sat in every chair on the sales floor in Office Depot and selected the most comfortable one. My writing room was complete.

And yet it wasn’t. I had started writing longhand, but I imagined that if I was going to get serious about writing, I needed a laptop. It would be my “dedicated writing laptop” for my “dedicated writing room.”

I spent the money to get my laptop, but then it mostly remained untouched in my writing room. From the little use it was getting, I had essentially purchased a $1000 paperweight. Why wasn’t I writing?

I imagined that it must be because my writing room was so drab. White walls, with nothing to draw inspiration from. I bought and framed a 30″ x 24″ poster of Rocky, the greatest underdog story ever told. I hung it on the wall across from my desk so that it could help inspire me. But it wasn’t enough.

I bought a corkboard, and hung that on another wall. I used it to capture all of my great writing ideas as they came to me, by writing the ideas down on an index card and tacking them to it.

I bought a surfing calendar, and hung that on the wall next to the corkboard. It helped hide the ugly breaker box, reminded me of each passing day, and made me smile whenever I checked out the new month’s surfer girl.

I bought a tiny corner shelf, which I mounted across from the door. It was just big enough to hold a radio alarm clock. This way I could keep track of time, and maybe listen to the WRIF as I worked.

I bought a small, single-shelf bookshelf. I mounted it behind me and above my desk. I filled it with some of my favorite novels, a pocket dictionary and pocket thesaurus, as well as some “How to be a Writer” books, my favorite of which was called “How to Write a Damn Good Novel.”

After all of this preparation to build my perfect writing space, I still avoided it. The only time I went in there was to water the plant.

What was really happening, was that I was using the idea of writing as a form of not writing. I was imagining that I could build a writing space so that I could look at it and say “See? I am a writer. Just look. Look! Look at all this writing stuff!”

The truth is, the time spent creating my writing room was a form of procrastination. It was tricky though, because it was a hidden form of procrastination. I fooled myself, because I honestly felt like the things that I was doing were productive. Later, when I moved out of that apartment and realized how I failed to write anything at all in that room, I understood just how stupid I was being.

There’s an episode of The Office where Michael Scott has quit his job to start his own company. On his first day of his new life, he plans to start working “after breakfast.” In order to avoid having to deal with the overwhelming amount of work he has to do, he simply keeps making breakfast.

I think that in some ways, we all have these goals that we’re planning on doing, but when it comes to actually doing them we get scared. We think that we’ll fail, or become overwhelmed at the amount of work ahead of us. Consequently, we choose to busy ourselves with other projects instead.

I know that whenever I have an approaching deadline, suddenly the task of doing laundry doesn’t seem so bad. In fact I look forward to it. While I’m at it, I figure I’ll also change the sheets, and then make the bed up real nice. Similarly, I’ll decide to wash the dishes, and then the task expands and I’m suddenly be wiping down the kitchen counter. That leads into cleaning the whole kitchen, and before I know it the apartment is spotless.

Although I’m proud at the cleanliness of my apartment, I then go into panic mode. My deadline is much closer, but I’m no closer to finishing my work before it arrives.

Hidden procrastination is tricky like that. You’re accomplishing something, but at the cost of not accomplishing something else. By saying “Yes” to the distraction, you’re saying “No” to the thing that really needs to get done.

Maybe that thing that needs doing is bigger, more important, and consequently more intimidating — but if you say “Yes” to procrastination often enough, you’ll never achieve the real goals you’re anxious to accomplish.

Fight back. Ignore the hidden forms of procrastination in favor of the real tasks that need doing. Don’t tell yourself you’ll start after breakfast, or once the laundry’s done. Not later, now.

My new apartment lacks a writing room. I wrote this article while sitting on my sofa. I’ve learned that I don’t need a dedicated writing space to be a writer.

To be a writer, I just need to write.

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When we crave change, we often want the end result now. You want to be thin NOW! You want to be rich and successful NOW! You want to be an expert in something NOW! What you don’t want to do now, though, is any of the in-between work. It’s like you want to start the race at the finish line.

In my recent interview with Kristy Victor, she touched on this idea of wanting the end result immediately. She describes it as a recipe for failure. For me, it was the most important point she mentioned in the interview:

Expecting immediate change sets you up for failure. You need to take everything one day at a time. You didn’t gain the weight overnight and it most certainly will not come off overnight. You must set small and attainable goals for yourself so you’re not overwhelming yourself with the final “big” goal.

After she mentioned it, I started thinking about the notion of gradual improvement. For example, since I started going to the gym almost a year ago, I’ve gradually worked myself up to the point where I can run all out for 15 minutes straight. Although it’s not the most impressive physical feat ever, it is something I couldn’t do a year ago. I slowly gained the ability by increasing my endurance gradually.

At first, it was a painful process. In school I was never an athlete of any kind, so I rarely ran at all. I remember some of my best times for “running the mile” were in the 11-12 minute range. Later, when I was out of school and had entered the work force doing mostly desk jobs, I naturally became less active. So when I finally made the decision to get in shape, my body seemed to fight me against that decision.

I’d warm up for 5 minutes on the elliptical, or the treadmill. No big deal. I’d use various weight machines for the rest of my workout, alternating muscle groups (upper- or lower-body) depending on what day it was. Also no big deal. When I went to do 30 minutes of cardio, though, my body reacted like it was being tortured.

30 minutes doing only a light jog was killing my feet, shins, and knees. I had always grown up with the mentality that “if it hurts, don’t do it.” This is why I was never a runner in school: if I ever started to feel pain, I’d quit. Now, as I start to grow older, and recognize exercise is a necessary evil, I needed to push through the pain in order to get fit.

I remember getting changed in the locker room after those first workouts. When I removed my running shoes, my white socks had turned red. My feet were literally bleeding from running. A lifetime of never needing to run caused my toes to grow up tight against one another, all cozy-like. Consequently, when I started running in spite of the pain, my toenails tore up something fierce.

It was embarrassing and painful, but it was par for the course. My feet always healed, and as I ran more and more they bled less and less. Now they don’t bleed at all. My body adjusted.

As for increasing the duration that I could run, I started off running for a few minutes at a time, then returning to a light jog. I think this is called “running intervals.” I’d run for maybe 2 minutes, then jog 2 minutes, then run 2 minutes, jog again, etc. I’d continue this until I was too tired to run any longer, and if any time was left in my 30 minutes of cardio, I’d walk or jog until my time was up.

As I kept returning to the gym to repeat this strategy, I noticed that I could always run a bit longer than the time before. I’d run for 3 minutes, and rest 2 minutes. Next time I’d maybe run for 4 minutes, and rest 2 minutes. Although I didn’t keep exact records of my forward progress, the important part was that I was aware of my body’s capabilities, and witnessed how I was gradually improving them. Like I indicated earlier, I can now run all out for 15 minutes straight. Furthermore, I’m starting to notice my body looks leaner; my muscles are more defined.

I want to be fit. I want to look muscular and attractive. I don’t want to do the in-between work, but there’s no other way to do it. You can’t start at the finish line, you have to start where you are.

This applies to anything worth doing. You set goals for yourself because they’re something you need to work towards. For me, gradual improvement applies to my body, my blog, my career, and my hobbies. It won’t matter if it’s piano lessons or Donkey Kong — it’s like anything else:

If you do something, you get better at it. If you do something long enough, you get great at it. And if you do something every day, you’re bound to reach the finish line.

Start today. Gain gradually, and don’t give up.

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I knew Kristy Victor in high school. We fell out of contact, and years later I saw her on Facebook. I was shocked at her radical transformation. I barely recognized her! Kristy had successfully reshaped her body from “pleasantly plump” to a bodybuilder bombshell! I was anxious to talk to her about how she did it. Please enjoy my interview with Kristy below.

Welcome, Kristy! For the benefit of those who don’t already know you, will you please give us a 5-second description of yourself and your profession?

I am a personal Trainer from NJ and NPC bikini competitor. I’m passionate about health, fitness, and helping others.

You’ve been invited here today because of your radical physical transformation. Tell me, when did you begin this quest for change?

I actually began my weight loss journey in 2007. I had gained a lot of weight and got all the way up to 185lbs. I started following the Beachbody workout, Turbo Jam. In about four months I had lost 45lbs.

That’s great! Was gaining weight the primary reason you decided to start this journey? Tell me about the moment you made the decision to really get serious about getting in shape.

Well, I have always worked out but didn’t always know what I was doing. Weighing close to 200lbs was definitely an eye opener, and that’s when I decided to change. I didn’t want to be so out of shape and unhealthy.

I’ve seen your before and after photos. They’re incredible! What kind of training regimen did you do in order to get where you are now? Did you have a personal trainer to help you along the way?

Initially I used Turbo Jam and the meal plan that went with it. For a while after that, I simply followed a lot of different workouts from fitness magazines I subscribed to. Starting about seven months ago, I started training with a Bikini and Figure Competition Training Team, Team Bombshell, and that is how I came to have the body I rock today.

You are definitely rocking a “bombshell” body, Kristy! Well done! But was there ever a time during your training that you felt like quitting? What kept you going?

Oh yea, definitely. There are days where you are totally wiped out, and the last thing you feel like doing is another hour of cardio. It’s the desire and drive I have to be at my best, and the passion I have to succeed in my training that always keeps me going. I always remind myself how there is someone else out there that isn’t taking time off, someone else out there that’s working harder than me — and it’s hard to quit when you look at it that way!

Losing weight and getting fit is something many of us aim to do, but from your pictures it’s easy to tell you’ve taken physical fitness to the next level. Where has your love for working out and reshaping your body taken you?

After losing the initial 45lbs, I decided to become a Personal Trainer. I love health and fitness, and now I can help others set and reach their goals. That in itself is very fulfilling, and I absolutely love what I do! I also started competing in bodybuilding competitions. I’m currently participating in the bikini division. I will be switching into the figure division next season.

Congratulations! How do the competitions work? How did you and your team do?

The team consists of hundreds of girls from all over the world. It is based out of Daytona Beach, FL, so if you are outside of that area you train online via email. There are so many shows throughout the season and many of them compete together, but the show I just did was a smaller show, so I was the only Bombshell there.

The competitions are split up into divisions; Bodybuilding, physique, figure, fitness, and bikini. They are broken up into height classes as well. 5’4 and under and 5’4 and over usually. Sometimes there are more height classes if it is a bigger show.

Each competitor will perform posing for their specific division and the judges will then line you up and “compare” everyone in groups of five. First callouts are a good sign — it tends to mean you’re more than likely making the Top 5.

You have to start with local or regional shows. Placing in Top 5 in a smaller show qualifies you for the national level. That’s where you can win your Pro Card. Every show is different regarding which placings receive Pro Cards. Most of the time there is one overall winner (per height class in each division), but sometimes it’s Top 3.

I’m no expert in working out. In fact, I only go to the gym about three times a week. What tips do you have for maximizing my workout?

First, I’d see what your goals are. Are you looking to put on some lean muscle or just lose some weight? Do you just want to be healthy and active? Would you like to compete in some type of competition?

I like to know exactly what a potential or current client’s goals are first, and then I can take their training to the next level. Also, what they are currently doing and if they have any sort of limitations. After I find out all that, you may regret asking that question!

Ahh okay, so you tailor the workout specifically for the client. Good to know! Now, I always heard that “3 sets of 10 reps” was a standard workout, but recently I read an article disputing that idea. In fact, it said 3 sets of 10 reps was probably the best way to guarantee you’d see no results from the time spent in the gym. What are your thoughts on this?

I absolutely agree. Your body adapts to everything you do, so if you continually put it through the same routine, 1) it will get less and less challenging and 2) you will “plateau,” meaning your body will remain the same in spite of the time you spend in the gym. Variety and switching things up is key. In other words, change the number of sets, reps, and type of exercise regularly. Try adding in some cardio or plyometrics between sets. You always want to keep your body guessing, that is the only way real change will occur.

I know that many people struggling to get in shape start strong at the beginning of the year (largely due to New Year’s Resolutions). As time goes on, though, they stop working out as often, and eventually quit completely. What recommendations or strategies do you have for anyone wanting to stay strong and stick with it?

First of all, everyone must think about what they really want. Of course we’d all love to lose, say, 15-20lbs. But the majority of people that start out strong won’t see instant results. That’s perfectly normal, but it causes people to get frustrated and give up.

Expecting immediate change sets you up for failure. You need to take everything one day at a time. You didn’t gain the weight overnight and it most certainly will not come off overnight. You must set small and attainable goals for yourself so you’re not overwhelming yourself with the final “big” goal.

Let’s say a small goal would be to lose 5lbs this month and stay on your meal plan. That is a small and very attainable goal. Once you start seeing results from the small goals, it will motivate you to keep working harder to reach the next goal and the next.

Truthfully, a lot of people would benefit from having a trainer in these situations. A trainer can keep them working hard and motivated to keep going. Without someone to motivate and support them through the difficult road ahead, they get frustrated, fall out of the routine, and completely give up. If you can’t afford a trainer, simply teaming up with a buddy will help. Make a set date and time each day to get in your workouts together. You can motivate each other to eat right and stay on track.

Great advice from someone who’s done it successfully. I love it. Can you tell me, what’s your proudest achievement?

Absolutely the moment I stepped on stage at my first bikini competition. I had always been shy and very self-conscious and never showed my body in public. Just the fact that, even though I was terrified, got right up on that stage with 100+ people looking at me, was huge!

I can only imagine what that must have felt like! Congratulations again — you look fantastic, and are an inspiration to all of us wanting to reshape our bodies! So what’s next for Kristy Victor?

I am currently building my in-home personal training business and group fitness classes. I’m also pursuing my B.S. in Sports Management/Health and Wellness to further my education, so that I can be the best trainer I can be. I plan to make my figure division debut sometime in the New Year around January/February in the pursuit of my Pro Card. Then, wherever life takes me!

I wish you the best of luck in all of your future endeavors. Thanks again for sharing your remarkable story. Where can we find out more?

Come visit my website at www.victoryfitnessnj.com and my blog page at www.fit4lifewithkristy.com. Thanks for having me!

Kristy Victor is a personal trainer who lives and works in South Jersey. Her fitness motto is “If you’re not challenging your body, you’re not changing your body.”

Do you know anyone like Kristy that might be interested in sharing their story? Please Contact Me!

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Someone recently talked to me about their upcoming job interview. They were nervous about what to expect, and asked me “What should I know?”

They’d already done a bit of research. They knew what they planned on wearing, they had a rehearsed answer for “So tell me about yourself,” and they knew about the importance of a firm handshake with eye contact. So what was left?

I think it’s important to note that I’ve never been on the other side of the table. Although I’ve been to many job interviews, it was always as the person being interviewed. In all truthfulness, every situation is going to be unique. Every hiring manager will have their own take on things, so no single article on interview tips will have the “right” information. This being said, you can definitely gain an advantage if you arm yourself with recommendations from more experienced interviewees.

First things first, I think the interview process is pretty broken. The interviewer will plan on spending the interview asking you lots of questions, but they will never ask you the one question that actually matters: “Can you do this job?”

They want to ask you how much you expect to be paid for the position, and they often want this information right away. The reason they want it is so that they can immediately dismiss you if you’re asking for too much. In order to stay in the running for the position, never bring up the topic of compensation first. It gives the impression that you’re more concerned about the money than the work you’ll be doing. Furthermore, never name an amount. It can only hurt you, by either letting the interviewer know you’re too expensive, or letting the interviewer know you can be bought for cheap.

When the interviewer asks you to suggest an amount, you should duck the question. Like I said, they’ll ask this quickly — often in the very first phone interview. Don’t give them an amount, no matter what. Good phrases to use to defer them are: “Until we’ve determined that I am a good match for (company), I feel like discussion of compensation is premature.” and “I would like to be compensated a fair wage for the skills needed to fill this role.”

Generally speaking, you don’t want to talk about money during the first round of interviews. When I got my last job, the HR recruiter gave me a phone interview. After passing that, I had an in-person interview with my future boss, and finally had a second interview with the person above him another day. No real discussions about money were made until after all the in-person interviews took place. The HR recruiter called me with a job offer, which was the first offer.

I’ve found that negotiating salary over the phone, AFTER the company has determined that they want to hire you, is the best position you can be in. When you’re discussing compensation in-person, you are more inclined to accept an offer immediately. I can’t fully explain why, but I suspect it has to do with body-language, and presence: The job offer seems within reach, it’s right in front of you, and you want to just grab it the moment it’s on the table.

As unintuitive as it might seem in an economy where jobs are hard to come by, you should not accept the first offer, ever. Even if it’s more money than you expected, you need to keep cool. Realize that at this point, they’ve demonstrated that they want you. You are their choice for the position. If you accept their first offer, then you successfully got the job, but you most likely accepted a “low ball.” You won’t be eligible for a salary increase for another year or more, and the increase will often be a small “cost of living” increase. What you want to do is maximize your starting salary, because that negotiation opportunity is the best chance you have at increasing your wage. It’s much harder to increase your salary after accepting the position, and it will be a while before it’s appropriate to ask for a raise or promotion.

When they give a number, say $40,000, don’t say anything. If you’re on the phone, they can’t read your body language and they don’t know what to make of a “no reaction.”

Count to 25 to yourself. The silence will be uncomfortable, but it’s uncomfortable for the recruiter too — and sometimes that silence can help you. If the 25 seconds passes and they still haven’t said anything else, repeat the figure back to them slowly, like it’s a question: “For-ty, thousand?” See how much longer you can hold the silence, and then ask them if you can have their phone number and get back to them. Explain how you need to put some numbers together and think it over.

I’ve done this. Maybe it sounds crazy, or stupid, but I’ve done it and it has worked out well for me.

You see, your future boss doesn’t always know how much money is available for your position. The HR recruiter does. This is especially true for large organizations in the private sector. The HR person’s job is to fill the position for the lowest amount possible, but if your future boss selects YOU for the position, then the HR person’s job shifts to making sure that you’re going to accept the job. Think about how upset the boss would be at HR if they messed up a negotiation, and lost their first choice! When the employer is in a “we must have you” mentality, you’re in a position to bump up your compensation more easily.

When I was contacted by the HR recruiter over the phone, and I sat in silence counting to 25, she became uncomfortable and said “If that’s not to your liking, would another $2k make the offer more appealing?” She interpreted the silence as disappointment, and basically gave up the game. Now I knew that the offer was negotiable and they were willing to pay more.

I said “Of course it would make the offer more appealing, but (my current employer) might be willing to match that salary in order to keep me, if I explain that I’m leaving for higher compensation. Can I have a bit of time to crunch some numbers and think it over? How can I get back in touch with you?”

In situations where they’re not willing to offer additional compensation, you can frequently ask for added vacation days instead. Your job offer is a contract, and in my experiences, everything is negotiable. You want to adjust the job offer in any way that will make it more appealing to you. Your future employer doesn’t want you to accept the position and leave 6 months later, that’s a “lose” for everyone involved. They will need to invest the time and resources into refilling the position, and perhaps you left because you didn’t get exactly what you wanted. Maybe you didn’t get exactly what you wanted because you didn’t ask.

At any rate, these are the strategies I’ve successfully used to negotiate salaries that allowed me to change jobs (in a lateral move) while increasing my wage as much as $10k/year. As I already mentioned, everyone will have their own take on things, and each situation is unique. You’ve got to decide what’s applicable to your situation.

Of course, after I told my friend all of this, I realized how I didn’t completely answer their question. Although negotiation is really important, it comes much later in the interview process. It’s something to keep in mind so that you can avoid the compensation discussion in the early rounds, but there are other important things to know in order to nail the first interview.

You want to appear informed. Don’t come in without the slightest clue about what the company does, or what your position is for. They will let you finish the interview, but you won’t get the job.

In order to seem well-prepared you need to ask relevant questions. Demonstrate that you’ve invested time and energy into researching the position and the company. For example, if you checked out their website, maybe they had a link to a news story where their organization was mentioned. Bring this up in the interview, and talk to them about it. Prove to them that you’re not just a person qualified for the job, but someone that’s genuinely interested in the what the company is doing.

If you ask enough questions about the company, you can sometimes turn the tables on the interview completely: You’re actually asking the interviewer more questions than they are asking you, as if you’re interviewing them. The atmosphere will suddenly shift to the point where the interviewer is trying to impress you. In my experiences, this strategy has never failed to get me a second interview, if not the job.

See, an in-person interview is most often just a test to see if you’ll fit in. They want to see if they’ll enjoy working with you every day. In a way, working for someone is kind of like going steady.

So when the interviewer spends the duration of your interview talking about themselves, after the interview is finished they’ll subconsciously like you more than the typical candidate. You see, the easiest way to get strangers to like you is to let them talk about themselves. People LOVE talking about themselves!

Ask questions like “What makes (company) a great place to work?” Engage the interviewer in casual conversation with “How long have you been with (company)? Knowing what you know now after working here (that long), would you do it all over again given the chance? Why?” The important thing is to really get them talking. If you’re asking questions that have simple, one-word answers, be sure to have some related follow-up questions that will cause them to tell you stories. Have fun. Smile. Laugh.

Simply put, the first interview is more about getting the interviewer to like you than proving you’re able to do the job. They already know you can do the job from your resume, and that’s the reason they invited you to the interview in the first place. Now they’re just trying to determine if you’ll fit in there, and if they want to work with you every day.

Good luck!

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There’s a lot of excitement over the release of the new iPhone 4S. I’m reading news stories about people lining up outside of stores so they can get their hands on the latest version of the popular phone.

I have trouble relating to the “must have it now” mentality. I’ve observed early adopters of the iPod quickly abandon their first generation mp3 player for the smaller iPod mini, only to do it again the next year for the even smaller iPod nano. Later, when the iPhone effectively combined Apple’s mp3 player with a cell phone, every previously released music device was abandoned, and the “gotta have it” frenzy shifted towards the iPhones.

Of course, this behavior isn’t unique to Apple products. Many people choose to upgrade their cell phone the instant they’re eligible, so that they can enjoy the thrill of getting something new. My girlfriend Cassie has been through three different phones in the four years that I’ve lived with her, and she’s already looking forward to becoming eligible again for her next upgrade.

I’m not suggesting that anything is wrong with liking gadgets, or wanting new things. After all, I’ve been fortunate enough to enjoy the privilege of affording a brand new car, brand new laptop, brand new furniture, etc. I’m only sharing my fascination with those who seem to always “need” new things, and I’m curious about what drives people to crave that “new gadget feeling.”

To offer some perspective, I’ve only ever owned two cell phones. The first one I got in 2001. I was 21 at the time, and got it at the request of my employer. I was a traveling consultant for his computer firm, and having a phone made it easier for my boss to keep in touch with me when I was on the road.

I got my second phone in 2005. My father wanted a cell phone, and could save the cost of a phone if I let him have mine. I renewed my contract, obtained a free phone, and gave my dad my old one.

The free phone that I got in 2005 is still the one that I’m using today. It’s in my pocket as I’m writing this.

Sure, it’s six years old — but it works, and it’s served me well for all these years. Of course, people sometimes make fun of me for it. It’s not uncommon for people I’m meeting for the first time to actually take a picture of my old phone using their smart phone, so they can upload it to Facebook for a laugh. It’s like they’re saying “Seriously? What’s wrong with this guy?”

They tell me to get with the times, and ask why I won’t upgrade to a newer phone. Although there are several reasons, the main one is that it still works. I guess I subscribe to the old adage: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”

Still, I suspect that there’s more to it. There’s a reason why other people are always buying the next best thing. Some people are compulsive shoppers, some are self-proclaimed technophiles, and some just want to be accepted as part of the crowd who’s “with it.”

And I’m not going to lie. I’m not anti-iPhone. In fact I’m a bit curious about it. At one point I got to use one for my job and I did like it. It had some cool games, and if it lacked any features you could easily find and download something extra ones using Apps.

All this considered, I’m still comfortable with not being part of the “gotta have it” mentality. Maybe I’ll get one when my phone finally dies. If not, that’s okay too. I’m satisfied with what I have.

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