How And Why I Quit Playing An Addictive Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (MMORPG)
According to my “playtime,” I spent 180 days of my life logged in to the Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game: “Final Fantasy XI.”
This enormous value was the result of having played FFXI an average of four hours every day over the course of three years.
In that time, I believed that I had collected an impressive arsenal of weapons, armor, and fictional money called “Gil” for my in-game persona. The reality, as I eventually realized, was that I willingly spent over $600 so that I could waste 180 days of my life sitting on my ass.
In this article, I’ll be discussing the addictive nature of MMORPGs, the humorous way how I made certain that I was quitting FFXI forever, and most importantly, the reasons why I chose to quit playing.
If you’ve never played a game of the MMO variety, then you’re probably thinking “You’ve got to be kidding — Game Addiction?” Believe me, the concept of such an affliction was just as alien to me when I bought the game.
Little did I know that within three years of purchasing the game, I would transform into a self-proclaimed “FFXI Junkie.”
Having examined the product subtleties more closely after-the-fact, I’m convinced that Square-Enix (the game producers) purposely designed FFXI to be addictive in nature. From a business perspective it makes sense to do so, since playing FFXI requires a subscription to their PlayOnline service.
Of course, you’re not obligated to pay for the drugs subscription right away. With exception of the one-time cost of the Game Discs, you won’t be charged anything for the first 30 days. Funny how you must enter a valid credit card number to initiate your PlayOnline membership, though.
Then, right before you enter FFXI’s fictitious world for the first time, you’re prompted with the following message:
A Word to Our Players
Exploring Vana’diel is a thrilling experience.
During your time here, you will be able to talk, join, and adventure with many other individuals in an experience that is unique to online games.That being said, we have no desire to see your real life suffer as a consequence.
Don’t forget your family, your friends, your school, or your work.
In fact, this message displays every time you enter Vana’diel, clearly indicating how Square-Enix acknowledges the addictive nature of MMOs.
FFXI possesses addictive qualities serious enough that a mandatory warning displays every time you login to play it. It reminds me of the SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING posted on every pack of cigarettes. Smoking Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, Emphysema, and May Complicate Pregnancy. FFXI Causes Muscle Fatigue, Repetitive Stress Disorder, Social Inadequacy, and May Lead to Obesity or Malnutrition.
It’s easy to laugh at, because upon first seeing the warning, it seems very foolish. You can tell yourself “It won’t happen to me,” or “I’m not addicted” each time you click past the warning, but understand that the warning was put there for a reason. It does happen.
Thankfully, although I was addicted, I was still sensible enough to go to work. Three years of playing, however, did cause me to severely alienate myself from my family members and real life friends. It also negatively affected my relationship with my now former girlfriend.
So what aspects of the game make it addictive? Plain and simple: the game has no ending. There’s a seemingly infinite and always increasing number of things for your game character to do. Even after 180 days spent playing FFXI, I still experienced only a fraction of what’s available — but going into detail about what the game offers would go beyond the scope and intended purpose of this article.
The point is that I became addicted enough that I willingly clicked past the warning for three years. Consequently, the subscription costs and prices of expansion packs added up over 36 months, eventually reaching over $600.
Once I calculated that value, I recognized that I was investing hard-earned money into my own demise. Nothing tangible was resulting from the considerable time I was choosing to invest in playing FFXI. After having played so long, it didn’t even seem like I was playing to have fun anymore — I was simply playing because my real life problems didn’t exist in Vana’diel.
With this newfound understanding, I became determined to regain control of my life and quit playing FFXI forever. The problem was, I often heard about the struggles other MMO Addicts had when trying to quit. They’d leave and come back, leave again and come back again — sometimes repeating their attempt to quit five or more times.
Knowing my own addictive personality, it would be all too easy for me to fall into a relapse if I didn’t make some preventative measures to keep myself from returning.
In other words, just telling myself that I wouldn’t play anymore wouldn’t be sufficient. I’d most likely “quit” only temporarily — and return to the game the first time I became even moderately bored.
Similarly, unsubscribing wouldn’t be sufficient either. Character data remains intact when you cancel your subscription, and it’s very easy to reactivate the account.
Since I was seriously planning on quitting permanently, I did everything in my power to make it difficult for me to login ever again. In order to stop myself from returning to FFXI, I:
- Gave all of my virtual assets to in-game friends.
- Canceled my PlayOnline subscription.
- Uninstalled the FFXI Game Software.
- Locked the FFXI Game Installation Discs inside a Time Capsule.
- Stored the Time Capsule in a neighbor’s attic.
- Left the Key to the Time Capsule with my family in New Jersey.
- Moved from New Jersey to Michigan.
You may believe my methods for quitting are rather extreme, but I knew that’s what it would take. Even now, five months after taking these steps, I still get an occasional desire to play. Thankfully, it’s damn hard to justify reversing all of those steps to satisfy my Gaming Addition.
Now to answer the more important question: Why?
Three years is a long time. Looking back on the years I lost playing FFXI is reminiscent of a time warp. I advanced my game character for three years while my real life was put on pause. It got me nowhere. I failed to invest in myself because of my addiction to the fantasy. Consequently, after three years I didn’t have more money, more school, or more skills, let alone more happiness.
Dedicating more time to this fantasy world didn’t make sense — my real life was suffering because of my inability to exercise restraint, so I took drastic measures in order to begin creating positive change in my life. The hardest part was making the choice to quit permanently, knowing that I’d have to continue making that choice every day to truly conquer my addiction.
My hope is that maybe this article can enlighten other MMO Addicts that it’s within their power to choose to quit playing. If your life is suffering because of an unhealthy addiction to a MMORPG, then I encourage you to assess whether you’re playing for fun, or because you’re simply unable to stop.
Quitting FFXI has been bittersweet for me. Having abstained from playing for five months now, I admit that there are many aspects of the game that I miss — but truthfully, What I miss pales in comparison to Who I miss.
The people I developed in-game friendships with during my FFXI career are naturally what I miss most. They helped transform the game into an unforgettable experience, and the feeling of comradeship I would constantly experience playing alongside them is something I am sad to have let go of.
I’m not disappointed I made the decision to stop playing, but I can’t deny having enjoyed every moment of my playtime.
Still Unconvinced Game Addiction Exists? See These External Links:
- Man dies after 50-hour gaming marathon
- Couple’s online gaming causes infant’s death
- Expert: 40 Percent of World of Warcraft Players Addicted
- China opens game-addiction clinic
- China govt steps up limits on online gaming
- Ex-Blizzard Employee Divorces Husband Over WoW
35 Responses to “How And Why I Quit Playing An Addictive Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (MMORPG)”
I’m a former FFXI/WoW addict as well. I racked up over 140 hours in one year after dropping out of school, and it was all about the people for me too.
WoW was a switch from the harder FFXI drug to something milder. It ends up just as bad, hoping that things will get better in the game, looking for what was lost moving from FFXI.
I enjoyed all of my time in both worlds, but eventually you have to realize that you’re sacrificing whatever future you have for nothing. All your time, all your effort in a world like that amounts to nothing.
Not everyone tries to hide from their real life problems by playing MMOs, I think that’s what your real issue was. Also, my WoW account is worth about $2000 USD. I think that is something tangible.
Dude - why didn’t you destroy the disks instead of locking them up?
There is a website for addicted gamers that follows the same approach but with new ideas baked in for the millions of gamer addicts…
http://www.olganonboard.org/
Online Gamers Anonymous. It’s real…not a joke.
I really do not play online games, but addictions can be very strong. I was spending hundreds of hours a month on the web. It was realized that all I did was sit in front of that darn computer. My solution…golf…and I walk instead of taking a cart. As for your addiction to FFXI, destroy the game rather than lock it up with a friend.
@Scott
I couldn’t agree more. You’ve done a great job of condensing the main point of my 1300 word article into a single paragraph. Thanks for commenting!
@Ben
Although it’s true not everyone tries to hide from their real life problems by playing MMOs, I think the majority of MMO players probably do, and even more are in different stages of denial about their Game Addiction. Using the example you offered: So allegedly your WoW account is worth about $2000 USD — Do you ever plan to quit, and if so, will you actually sell your account? Or does the fact that you calculated how much real money your virtual assets in WoW are worth make it easier to justify your efforts and continue playing? Thanks for commenting.
@Lee
When I was making plans to move out of state, I sold or threw out many of my possessions. I was surprised at the number of games I had collected and played during my childhood that I was willing to part with. I could not, however, bring myself to destroy the FFXI Install Discs. Perhaps I needed to break my addiction using smaller steps. Step 1 is to distance myself from the game by locking the discs up. Step 2, to be accomplished when I unlock the Time Capsule in the future, is to destroy the discs. Thanks for your comment.
@Mike
Thanks for sharing that website, it definitely demonstrates that other players have experienced the same Game Addiction. I do have a problem with their 12 Step recovery process, though — Incorporating religious beliefs into the steps takes what I believe should be a very personal and individual decision of faith and promotes it as the answer for all players. In my opinion, that is a poor approach. Not to say the creators of the site are doing a bad thing — I just believe their steps will not apply to all Game Addicts. Thanks again for sharing.
@Derek
Aside from miniature golf and the driving range, I’ve never really played golf. If it’s as therapeutic as you suggest, perhaps I should add that to my list of things I want to try this year. As for web addiction, I too could be a candidate for that.
Great article. This article is timely. I have been using the ‘patch’ for WoW. I have been slowly spending less and less time playing. It is tough because most of my friends still play. The Wii has helped quite a bit. It gets me moving and Deb plays also…we are about to set up an hour a night policy to play Wii then exercise (maybe not in that order). I still have yet to uninstall WoW and cancel…but who knows.
My name is Dave and I am an addict.
@David Bradey
I think it’s difficult to leave MMOs since you constantly tell yourself “But I’ve come so far in the game.” In other words, quitting negates all of your in-game efforts, effectively transforming all of the time spent playing into wasted time. It’s almost like a parallel to dying in real life — everything you’ve built up beforehand is lost. But I don’t mean to get philosophical on you. It sounds like you’ve already made the difficult decision to quit. Congratulations, that’s the first step, which is always the hardest.
“Although it’s true not everyone tries to hide from their real life problems by playing MMOs, I think the majority of MMO players probably do…”
Wholeheartedly agree.
I wasted my high school and college years playing games online, and still paying for the repercussions. Starting from Starcraft, Diablo II, Ragnarok Online, ROSE Online. My friends played WoW at that time, but I decided to not follow them (albeit the extreme peer pressure I was under). My life was a complete drifter’s mess. I realised that I had a choice, to follow my friends and play WoW, or completely not play it and start hanging out with a new flock of friends. More than two years have passed now, and I can safely say it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’ve been reintroduced to my faith and growing my spiritual life, I’ve a direction in life, and I’ve friends who are supportive & encouraging.
Of course you can have friends in online games, and the teamwork often beats one in real life. However, if one is to see the end result of it, I don’t think we need to ask which one is worth more.
@wira
Congratulations on such an achievement. I’m glad to hear you “got out,” so to speak, and have embraced the importance of faith. Thanks for commenting.
I was addicted to Ragnarok Online back in ‘03/’04, lost a job over it. That opened my eyes. Although I still played MMORPG’s since then I’ve played WoW (which was boring so I diddnt play past the 7 day trial) and Rose Online, which I played quite alot over the next 3 years, No idea how many hours, but I would estimate 60 hours a month. Although I havent touched an MMORPG in close to a year, I still play online, Right now Im hooked on Counter-Strike:Source, alot more fun, alot less addictive, and free to play
I’m a total WoW addict, but I went on vacation for a week and a bunch of fun people left our guild and I am left with a feeling that I don’t want to play any more. I agree that it’s the people/friendships that count.
@JLM
I’ve heard of many people who’ve apparently lost their jobs thanks to their MMORPG addiction — glad to hear that you’ve adopted Counter-Strike as a “crutch” and haven’t touched an MMORPG in a year. That’s progress. Thanks for commenting.
@Lauren
I understand completely. In my case, two key players in our FFXI group had a baby together, and stopped playing thanks to their new priority. I understood (and predicted) their decision to leave once they announced the pregnancy. After that, our group was like a house of cards — the foundation began to crumble and as more people left, even more continued in the trend. The game wasn’t the same without so many of my in-game friends.
Ahh yes…
I love this entry, mainly because I never understood why people couldn’t separate real life from gaming life. I opened a WoW account a year ago, played for a week then my computer crashed. I took that as a sign. In Feb, I bought a new computer after saving some money, was given the game as a present from my boyfriend, and started playing again.
This obsession lasted until I reached level 26, to which at that point I decided, I much rather bang the keys on my piano than spend 2 hrs trying to complete a quest. This might also be because I have a short attention span.
I watched as it slowly engulfed my boyfriend, hes now a level 62 and can think of nothing more to talk about than WoW most days. I guess to each their own. We gotta do what we love. It could be worse
I’m just hoping that his account is worth something one day, so he can sell it, quit, and spend that hard energy in the dreams I know he’d rather accomplish, but doesn’t think hes good enough to do.
But hope is a lost cause in itself, sometimes.
@LJ
I stand by my opinion that most people attribute a monetary value to their account just so they can have an excuse to continue playing. Thanks to Real Money Trade, where you can actually exchange real life money for in-game currency, players can get a sense of worth for their virtual assets. Consequently, you hear people bragging about how “My account is worth $2000!!!” The interesting thing is, the moment you try to suggest they actually sell it for the money, their argument is “But it’s worth $2000!!!” Pretty backwards, if you ask me.
I only ever played one MMORPG, called “A Tale in the Desert.” I was interested in it because all of the other normal trappings of MMORPGs — combat, levels, no ending, etc. — were not present. But I left the game because of one trapping that was still present: the tedious repetition of un-fun tasks. First and foremost, a game should be fun, right? So why is the genre flooded with repetitive, not-fun tasks?
It took me a month or so to finally cancel my account, but during that time I was also expressing my dissatisfaction by simply not playing. Besides, all of the friends I talked to in the game were people I knew in real life. It’s not like I was leaving behind a social circle I’d never have contact with again.
I specifically avoid MMORPGs not because they’re addictive, but because they’re time-consuming. But then, I never had the experience of ditching out on my friends because I had to be somewhere for an instance or whatever other in-game activities there might be. The social aspect of the game is intriguing, but it’s not very well executed. Coupled with the lack of reward for continuing to play the game, what, then, is the incentive for me to spend my time playing the game?
The answer is that there is none, and that’s why I don’t play MMORPGs.
Being open ended is not all that makes those games addictive. I suspect the main addictive element is “Flow”, they have probably timed the missions and events in such a way that you can play in the perfect flow (I refer to the flow concept, as described in the popular book by Csikszentmihalyi). If a game is too difficult, you quit in frustration, if it is too easy, you get bored. They create just the right amount of gratification to keep you hooked.
Shaun,
the Korean couple who lost their baby was such a tragedy! I hope it is a wakeup call for those with higher responsibilities, like raising their babies in a caring , loving way. Keep the Faith!, Mary
I was once addicted to WoW as well, but I gave it up because as a college student I needed to spend more time studying and less money on something that was just making school harder for me in the long run. However, for someone who is trying to quit, I have a much better “patch”. There is a game called Kingdom of Loathing, that spoofs all these other MMOs. The community is wonderful, but one of the best parts of this game is that it is turn-based, so the amount of time per day that you can spend on the game is actually limited. Works for me, as now I only spend about half an hour a night, and still get to talk to a bunch of friends and have a great game experience!
I can guess why you wrote this.
Firstly, I’d argue that some activities that bring pleasure are worthwhile for that reason alone. For example, I play the piano. I’ve played for 18 years, but I’ve performed infrequently and never competed. I rarely play for friends and family, though it’s fun to do so. But primarily I play for myself, because it’s enjoyable and creative and fun. It’s true that I am also cultivating a skill, but that isn’t why I’m doing it. Isn’t enjoyment a good enough reason for me to be able to spend time playing piano? I also listen to piano music, get songs stuck in my head, and am happy to talk at length with other people who play. Sometimes I just start playing and can go on for hours, though most days I limit my practice time. But no one would accuse me of being addicted to piano. And let’s not get into the money I’ve spent on music, recordings, lessons… it was very worthwhile for me, though, because it’s brought me a lot of enjoyment. I think all the same arguments can be made for MMOs.
And secondly, I’d argue that it certainly is possible to play MMOs an amount of time which is within reason. They do have an addictive nature, but you can play small amounts of time or infrequently, and if you get too wrapped up in it you can take a break. My /played time in WoW is 30 days, over a period of 19 months. Maybe that is higher than my “/played” in the same time period for piano, but it isn’t higher than the percentage for sports, and I still spend lots of time cooking, writing, going out, having fun friends and a great boyfriend, and of course working and taking classes. It’s a question of life balance, which you rightly suggest to be very important. With any hobby or interest, if you spend too little time doing it you will be unhappy, and if you spend too much time doing it, you will be unhappy in other parts of life. Figuring out what balance of activities maximizes your happiness is key to living life contentedly.
Hi, I’m 14 and I’m addicted to online role playing games. The game I play is actually on a blogging site (I use xanga.com, but they’re all over myspace.com and facebook.com, too). Pretty much people just decorate pictures of a celebrity and then you go around and talk to other role players. I’ve been playing for about a year now, and I’ve been fully aware that I was addicted for about 7 months, now. Although I’ve known I was addicted, the hardest part, as you said, was leaving the people behind. Since the whole premise of the game is to go around, making relationships, it’s so hard to break this kind of addiction.
For months, I would use our shared, family computer, where I would go on and role play for about 4 or 5 hours straight, everyday. However, my parents, knowing that I had a real-life account on the blogging website, parentally blocked it from me, so when I typed the web address in, I wasn’t allowed to access it.
However, I would lie and find different ways to get on other family members’ accounts, so the website was unblocked. I knew I had a problem, and I went through two times where I would “quit forever” for a month, then show up with a new character and new name. (The hardest part is that even when you kill your character, blogging websites make it so easy for you to make a new one). Over the past two months, since school is out for the summer, my addiction has become even more intense, where I’ll pull all nighters just so I can continue talking to people that I’ll never meet in real life. I’ve taken our family lap top into my room with me. It has no parental blocks, AND I don’t have to even leave my room to role play. Thus, I’ve spent countless hours of unhealthy time on the computer recently…
I’m not one of those “socially awkward teens who uses this as an escape.” I’m very well liked in real life, but I DO think I use my role play so I can try different experiences without having the consequences of looking or sounding stupid, because I’M not doing these things, my character is, through my guidance. Also, I’ve found things that I haven’t had in real life yet, such as actual boyfriends. The thing is: I can use my role play to do things I’m so far unsure of trying in real life.
However, my role play addiction is having a disgusting consequence on my REAL life. I see myself blowing off friends, family, and summer school work so I can be online. When my family takes me out (they do this because they hate seeing me isolate myself from the world–I hide my problem from them) I only wait till the next time I’m online, and rehearse what I’m going to say next to my friends on there.
More recently, I’ve been more and more disgusted with myself and depressed. I want to quit this role play desperately. I was going to, but my online boyfriend convinced me to stay. All the while, I’ve continued my unhealthy behavior.
Luckily, I came across this entry and other websites on gaming addiction. Your entry was really the one that brought the final push of motivation. I’m going to quit my role play right now. I will shut down my site right now, give the lap top to my parents tomorrow (my mom needs it for work anyway), and go back to my own, personal computer which will now be set so that my parental block settings are the only ones on the computer, because I’m the only one using it, thus, I will never again be anywhere near the source of my addiction. Yes it would mean leaving my online friends and “breaking” my online boyfriend’s heart (pft, I’m sure he’ll find someone else), but I’m sure I’ll find it all worthwhile when I GET MY LIFE BACK.
Wish me luck?
@Carlina
Good luck! And good for you
[…] morning I was reading an interesting piece on online addiction: How And Why I Quit Playing An Addictive Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game (MMORPG). I wrestle with the problem myself, balancing “real lifeâ€? with the twin-headed monster of what […]
Very interesting. I haven’t yet learned how to do trackbacks or pings, but I wrote an article that basically agrees with your viewpoint. I think, though, that the problem is larger than just MMORPG’s, though they are probably the worst.
I know it’s a little late in the game to comment on this article, but i have to say it hit home. I to am addicted to ffxi and it’s hard to leave because of the relationships you develope. I am ironically at 180 days of game play. I too am on the path of quitting, and seeing as you are one of my in game friends and was a blast playing with you. I am glad you have quit and stuck to it and knowing someone i played with shared the same problem i have and was able to quit, gives me even more drive to stick to it as well. So thanks Shaun (Jess) for the memories in game and the encouragment to continue my path to quitting!!!
Ok i have read and understand why u quit.. but in between just made this article a bunch of bull shit… i mean cmon ur trying to get ppl to quit but yet u have RPG gamesites strictly for MMO. U quit playing my ass. u prolly got sick and tired of not getting anywhere in FFXi and decided to go another means of MMO. Next time u decide to say hey look at me i stopped cause it was an addiction think b4 u put contradiciting shit in with it u jack ass.
I’ve been playing Battlefield 2 for like 2-3 years…slowly making my way to a Captain. I play it every night…like u…”it did cause me to severely alienate myself from my family members and real life friends.”
I have built up a career, but somehow I seem to have lost all my friends. I used to think friends are bullshi*. They come and go.. so I didnt feel the importance of gatherings and such.
Perhaps, its the games that have made me think and react that way. Now, I think my social life is completely wreaked.
Today, your article has knocked me over.. I should give up the game and try to regain all that I’ve lost.
You have made it…Now’s my turn.
Thanks.
I gave up 3 years of my life to this game as well. Its hard when you grow up around negative role models and are abused, you often find negative ways to control your life and cope. I remember the dishes, bills pilling up. I have other addictions I’m working through too. When I quit I did much like the author except move to a different city. I realized all the pain and things I’ve missed in my life. Once I broke free of the game I saw how much better real life is. I just need to overcome other addictions now…
my boyfriend has been playing battlefield 2 for just over a year and a half. he plays all the time, like 4 - 5 hours a day, sometimes all night. He never wants to go out anymore and we never see our friends. Our flatmate also plays so they hang out and talk to members of their clan on mics all the time. He is totally addicted, yet when i try to talk to him about he, he just gets annoyed or laughs at me. I wish he would realize so we could go out again and see people. what can i do??
@hannah221
I’m not sure there’s such a thing as a “Video Game Intervention” but it sounds like that’s what you’re looking for. If you’ve approached him on the topic but he doesn’t take you seriously about it, let him know that you’re serious about it.
I imagine that you feel as though his time spent in the game takes time away from you as a couple. If that’s how you feel then he needs to know that if things don’t change, then you’ll move on. In other words, think about giving him an ultimatum: Battlefield 2 or you. If he’s committed to you, then the choice should be obvious. If he chooses the game, then it’s clear where his priorities lie — and you’ll know that you can stop wasting your time with him.
Of course, I don’t know if that’s what you want to hear or not. If you love him, then the thought of leaving him probably didn’t even occur to you. Understand that you can’t force him to stop playing — that’s his choice, and so it’s not really something you can control, even though you might be able to influence his decision.
What you do have the power to control is how YOU decide to deal with the situation — and if you’re unhappy, then make some changes.