I think that I’ve reached the age where birthdays don’t really mean much anymore. After all, I can already drive, drink, and gamble — what’s left to get excited about? Instead of getting excited, I’m getting scared. I’m almost 30!
When I was younger, 30 seemed so far away. I imagined it as an age where I’d have my life all sorted out. I imagined having a good job by then. I thought maybe I’d have a house. Maybe I’d even be starting my own family. At the very least, I expected to have a real handle on my career choice.
I see people on Facebook — kids I grew up with — who are all married with children. It makes me wonder if I’ve been left in the dust. Seriously, what was I doing when everyone else was getting “all grown up,” with their big people jobs and big people responsibilities? I compare myself to them and somehow think I’m failing at life.
Thankfully, it’s just a passing feeling. I know that people reach milestones in their lives at different times, and truthfully, I’m still not quite ready for any of that yet. Yes, I’m disappointed that my career plans have been more frustrating than successful for most of my life, but that’s okay. I’m still figuring things out, and things will fall into place on my own time.
Still, my birthday always makes me realize that yet another year has passed. It makes me think about what I’ve accomplished in the last year, and keeps me in check: Am I still making progress towards my goals?
Thinking quickly, in the past year I have:
- moved to a nicer but less-expensive apartment,
- saved up some money,
- learned to read sheet music,
- interviewed for three better jobs,
- become an uncle,
- taken a long vacation,
- decided to leave a job with no upwards momentum,
- started writing in my blog more often,
- pursued further education, and
- branched off in a new direction to write professionally.
I’m not sure if my decision to return to school for creative writing is going to result in the job of my dreams or not. I don’t know if the road I’m taking will lead me to the life I aspire to be living. I do know, that I’m a mess of mixed emotions: mostly nervous, a bit excited, quite determined, and often scared.
I remember reading someone’s advice column, where they reflected on their life choices. They said that during the transition periods, if they were terrified about what they were doing, they took it as a positive sign. It was how they knew that they were on the right track. I have no idea if this will ring true for me — but I’m anxious to see where this next year will take me.
Cheers, to the next chapter in life! Let’s make it awesome!
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